Friendships – Oak or Mushroom?

In my opinion there are two types of friendships, the oak and the mushroom. The oak friendship starts out slow and builds up over time. The mushroom is quick to grow but doesn’t last long.

We all meet people who are meant to be in our lives for a certain period of time. Our oak friendships generally start in childhood or during our school careers and mature as we do becoming close and treasured for the love that grows with it. Think of your best friend in grade school, high school or college and how it blossomed through the years. How many of us have a friend today that started during our childhood?

Recently I contacted my best friend from my school age. I had done something foolish and hurtful during my early adulthood, which caused damage to our friendship. I haven’t heard from her as of yet but it’s my hope that our friendship will be reunited and turn out to be an oak. I miss her laugh and the sharing of confidences and hope to experience it once again. It’s only been a short time and I contacted her through her mother and it’s my hope that is the reason for the delay in hearing from her.

I’ve had plenty of mushroom friendships during my lifetime. In fact I’m making new friends now and it’s my desire that some will turn out to be oaks. We have things in common and I’d relish in the experience of something more than a mushroom friendship. Sure mushroom friendships are needed. We, as humans, need people in our lives regardless of the length of time. I simply miss the long term friendship that comes from an oak and is lacking in a mushroom.

“But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine.” Thomas Jefferson The oak friendship thrives in the sunshine of life while the mushroom grows in the dark. In other words the oak friendship thrives while knowing every aspect of your life but the mushroom only grows while keeping them in the dark. A short-term friendship is one where you don’t share your hopes and dreams. Such is the mushroom.

Here’s to mushroom and oak friendships. They both serve a purpose and are needed in our lives. Let’s just hope that we each have at least one oak friendship in our life, for it, in my opinion, is the most important of the two.


About winquier

I am novice author working on my first book. My book, a memoir/self-help book focuses on Autism and it's influence on family life. I have an 18 year old son who is Autistic and while not an expert in the field I have learned a few tips and tricks to make the roller coaster ride which is Autism a little less scary and smoother. I have a blog, that focuses on Autism as well as sponsors giveaways occasionally. I'm a member of the Tulsa Area Writers Workshop. I have published a few articles on Autism and it's effect on families on sites such as Associated Content and
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One Response to Friendships – Oak or Mushroom?

  1. loisasmith says:

    What a wonderful post! Thank you so much for those words of wisdom.

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